[Ipg-smz] Facebook Rapture/Stand

[Esther Schindler]

Back in the 80s, there was a very popular book named something like, “How to make love to a woman.” The first chapter pointed out that, before one could do so, the reader needed to FIND a woman. And it offered suggestions on how to meet women (done in a nice way), such as going to museums. There were several places on the list, IIRC.

That book was such a success that it was followed up by “How to make love to a man,” and the first chapter had a similar intro: First, find a man. Except ITS advice was, “Read all the places suggested in the previous book, such as museums. And then go there, because it’s where the men looking for women are looking.”

I’ve long felt that Facebook (and other online communities) are stuck in the “go to a museum” advice. Or Yogi Berra’s comment: "No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded."

In the fictional bar Cheers, nobody imagined they served the best beer. The reason the regulars showed up was, “Everybody knows your name.”  …except in this case, it’s the Cheers online database that knows your name, shopping history, and political affiliations.

> On Feb 4, 2019, at 11:26 AM, Tara Calishain <researchbuzz at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> I used to tag people on Facebook so much I'm sure it got annoying at times, but I've pretty much stopped and moved to MeWe (where I tag people but much less because there are fewer people there.) I post on Facebook very infrequently. 
> 
> I would like to leave entirely but otherwise I'd have a tough time keeping up with my mother-in-law (who lives in Alaska) and various relatives. Also, my Granny relies on me for reports about some of her extended family. A high school friend of my mother's spent several weeks in the hospital after getting an infection in her pacemaker, and Granny often asked me how she was doing, wanted to see pictures, etc. 
> 
> I feel a bit guilty about this because I do think Facebook is pretty awful, but I feel like I kind of have to do this right now. 
> 
> 
> 
> On Sun, Feb 3, 2019 at 5:10 PM Perlow, Jason <jperlow at gmail.com <mailto:jperlow at gmail.com>> wrote:
> Wanted to get some comment from the folks here as well.
> 
> ---------- Forwarded message ---------
> From: Perlow, Jason <jperlow at gmail.com <mailto:jperlow at gmail.com>>
> Date: Sun, Feb 3, 2019 at 3:11 PM
> Subject: Facebook Rapture/Stand
> 
> 
> So many folks have written about deleting facebook. I don't think people have written so much about watching friends delete facebook, and being the folks "left behind".
> 
> I have watched several friends delete recently. I had a few days notice from most of them. But when you have zero notice, it is very strange, because what immediately goes through your mind is you have been defriended, that you did something horribly wrong, that you crossed a boundary you should not have. I was sick with the flu for about 4 days, didn't really touch facebook, and noticed when  I came back I missed updates from this writer friend/colleague. Turns out, this very active guy (lots of politics and wall street/investor focused stuff) and decided he had enough. Deleted all his data.
> 
> The only reason why I am sticking with Facebook is I have groups that I run for support purposes (Bariatric Surgery) and local food reviews for South Florida and dinner meetups and such. But if those benefits did not exist the constant contentiousness and inability to really connect with a lot of people meaningfully due to the polarizing environment is a total turnoff.
> 
> I want to do this piece but I would like to hear some additional anecdotes from folks that have become the "Left Behind on Facebook". Why are you staying, who has left, did you have notice, what did it feel like when the people disappeared? And if you left, how much notice did you give? Did you do a full data download and delete or did you just put the page on hold?
> 

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